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DIARIO DE UNAS ELECCIONES

Antequera, 12:15 pm. Un señor de unos 70 años se sienta a mi lado en el tren. Es el domingo de las elecciones. En el trayecto hasta Madrid hace un total de siete llamadas con un mismo objetivo: avisar a la otra persona de que un amigo suyo, de apellido Pedrós, ha fallecido. En todas repite el mismo patrón en la forma de comunicarlo. No penséis mal, no es que le cotillee, es que habla a gritos y leer se convierte en una utopía a su lado. En las siete llamadas, una vez explicado el fallecimiento del tal Pedrós, cuenta que va a Madrid sólo a votar, dejando claro que es al PP porque “del coletas no me fío”. En ese momento, y por asociación entre voto y justificación, imagino que Mariano Rajoy es una especie de cazavampiros y la única solución posible para que no se propague la especie Podemita.MERLU ALIEN

Madrid, 21.45. Calle Ferraz. Con casi el 50% del escrutinio realizado, el PSOE ronda los 90 diputados. Entonces se produce el gran momento de la noche electoral: César Luena, secretario de organización socialista, nos avisa de que aún puede haber sorpresas y que Pedro Sánchez gane las elecciones. En ese momento uno siente envidia de César y de esa sustancia tan estupenda que se mete en el cuerpo y que le permite ver con ilusión un batacazo electoral sin precedentes en su partido.

Madrid, 22:45. Teatro Goya. La cúpula de Podemos comparece como los grandes vencedores de las elecciones. Una medalla de bronce puede llegar a pesar más que una de oro si se vende bien el proyecto. Pablo Iglesias, con cara de satisfecho, nos esboza las líneas que llama “rojas” de su programa post electoral: referéndum en Cataluña, moción de confianza, chuches para Errejón y alternativa habitacional para cada desahucio. Se frota las manos porque sabe cuál es el mejor resultado para la futura ecuación: convencer a Alberto Garzón y los suyos de que se unan en coalición si hay elecciones de nuevo en tres meses… Alberto se lo pensará. Los votantes no volverán a invertir 900.000 sufragios para conseguir sólo dos diputados.

Madrid. 23:00. Calle Ferraz. Comparece Pedro Sánchez. Sus acólitos ya no se empujan tanto como en campaña para ponerse detrás de él en la foto. Hay mucha educación y todos quieren ceder el sitio menos César Luena, que con el 99% del escrutinio cerrado aún cree en que pueden ganar las elecciones. Además se produce el hecho más llamativo en la historia del PSOE: Pedro Sánchez sale a celebrar que su partido no ha desaparecido, confirmando que nunca en la historia de las elecciones un partido dice que ha perdido… salvo UPyD, claro.

Madrid, 23:15. Donde quiera que estuvieran los de Ciudadanos. Comparece ante los medios de comunicación Albert Rivera. Sus seguidores gritan emocionados “yo soy español, español”, recordando algo que puede parecer obvio: son españoles. Muchos aplausos y 40 diputados que por las caras de Rivera saben a poco. Pero ahí sigue aplaudiendo y esperando que el público le pida “otra, otra”. Rivera mira el reloj y le falta decir que la organización del hotel no le deja cantar más, pero que gracias por los votos, especialmente por los de Toni Cantó.MERLU 50SOMBRAS 10

Madrid ,23:30. Calle Génova. Mariano Rajoy sale al balcón, esta vez sin plasma, junto a su equipo. En toda salida al balcón pepero no pueden faltar tres elementos que rivalizan con Ramón García como lo más tradicional del país: que Mariano bote aunque no tenga gracia ni para eso, que le acompañe Javier Arenas, que es como el año bisiesto de la política. No se le ve en todo el curso, pero como vea un balcón desde el que saludar a la plebe allí estará, con esa sonrisa que usa igual en las victorias, en las derrotas o para comprar el pan. Y el tercer elemento es un elemento en sí: Carlos Floriano, mudando la piel por si les ha vuelto a faltar una pizca. Uno imagina la reunión que habrán tenido antes los dirigentes populares, y como siempre habrá una única conclusión: “no hemos sabido comunicar bien las reformas”. Básicamente es como si tú, querido lector, haces una paella sin arroz y dices que lo que te ha faltado para que salga perfecta ha sido el pimiento morrón.

La Sexta. Toda la noche. Antonio García Ferreras ha recibido por adelantado su regalo de Papá Noel: una tablet con una aplicación en la que puede ir sumando combinaciones de escaños e ir a la vez echando a la audiencia hacia otros canales. Hay un momento en el que con los ojos inyectados en sangre busca nuevas combinaciones imposibles; yo llego a temer que pruebe la suma de votos entre PP, Bildu, ERC y hasta con el desaparecido CDS de Adolfo Suárez, por si salen las cuentas. Entonces el espectador comprende que Ferreras sólo hace preguntas a los tertulianos para que hablen ellos y a él le dejen a lo suyo: a darle a la pantallita hasta que le diga quién será el próximo presidente.

pactos

España. Día siguiente. La gente sigue haciendo su vida. Los grupos de Whatsapp, los bares, los supermercados… son foros improvisados donde todos damos nuestra opinión y hacemos pronósticos. Algunos ya tienen miedo, otros protestan porque la democracia no les ha ido como les gustaría, también hay quienes ven con certeza que en primavera habrá nuevas elecciones… pero al fin y al cabo, lo que la mayoría esperamos es que salga quien salga tenga la decencia de empezar a gobernar mirando a los ciudadanos y no a Merkel, a Draghi, a Jüncker… ni a los bancos ni a la Bolsa. Sería un buen punto de partida que parece tan obvio que llevamos muchos años echándolo de menos.

 

 


SOBRE EL AUTOR:

STAFF_almar


COMPARTE ESTE POST EN TUS REDES:

22 diciembre, 2015


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